Yankees Embarrass Themselves and Their Families

The Good

The strike zone. After the previous game's fiasco, the home plate ump more than made up for it with his ample strike zone. Joba struck out 12, nine looking, as a result. Granted, the strike zone extended about two feet on either side, but still, he worked with what he had and he was nasty. Beckett didn't look nearly as good (first inning aside).

The Bad

Joba's first inning comes to mind, but this offense is in the crapper. These guys are not hitting with guys on base. Part of the problem is that the middle of the order gets on, and then the bottom of the order tries to hit without a tee. A-Rod better come back on Friday or I'll break his right hip.

The Ugly

The Yanks played so poorly that they embarrassed themselves and their families. Elliot Spitzer walked out of the park in disgust in the seventh. Even he wouldn't stoop as low as the Yankees have. Bernie Madoff shut the tv off in prison, disgusted with what he was seeing. Five straight to Boston? The crowd even chanted, "we want Torre." This team needs to find a way to score. Beckett was not nearly as sharp as his final line suggests.

The Money

Johnny Damon hit another home run, as he is the only person on this team apparently committed to winning. At this point, we might as well take the money we've promised to charity and donate it to the "Teixeira, stop sucking!" fund. Maybe these guys feel underpaid and under appreciated. Or maybe, just maybe, under punched in the face.

Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 5hr = $5.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 6hr = $6.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $38.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.