Thursday, February 7, 2008

Derek Jeters Off Season Training Regimen

We at the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog just obtained a copy of Derek Jeter's personal off season work out. We were going to try it out for a couple weeks, but the training requires fancy equipment we simply do not have access to. Nonetheless, we felt we should let all the fans out there get a glimpse of the work it takes to be Derek Jeter.

Day 1 - Weight and Resistance Training
-Bench Press 3 sets of ten handed
-Giambi Squats (Requires Jason Giambi to sit on shoulders) 3 sets of 10 repititions
-Aligator Hurls 3 sets of 10 (Drive pick up truck full of aligators up to Jose Canseco's fence. Then hammer throw them into his yard. Pool = 2 points, porch = 3 points, and roof = 4 points.)
-Under water situps with tank full of sharks (requires aquarium)
-Tee work with 80 lbs baseball bat
*Requires aligators, sharks, Jose Canseco's yard

Day 2 - Hand-Eye Drills

-Bullet catches (requires a tommy gun, several rounds of ammo, and kevlar glove)
-Lawn mower rotations (stick hand in and out of lawn mower without getting hand cut off, requires lawn mower)
-Cobra slaps (slap a cobra without it biting you. For best results, taunt cobra by placing hand in cobra's face and telling the cobra to talk to it. They hate that.)
-Learn to throw ninja stars (may need ninja to teach you)
*Requires kevlar baseball glove, machine gun, lawn mower, a ninja and posionous snake

Day 3 Stamina Building

-Morning run up Mt. Everest (carrying a bag full of Gold Glove and Hank Aaron awards.)
-Tornado wind sprints. (Must wait for tornado)
-Fist fight a bear (grizzlies for best results)
-Helicopter holds. Grab ahold of a helicopter at take off and hold on until it lands (requires helicopter)
-Tie dead chicken around waist and visit Jurrasic Park's raptor cage (requires raptors)
*Requires epic mountain, bears, helicopters, raptors and Tornadoes

Day 4 Field Work

Base running drills: Sprinkle shark teeth around infield and run bare foot.
Fielding drills: Gary Sheffield fungo drills.
Hitting drills: Don't need them.
Concentration drills: Fill stadium with hot chicks and stare at Jason Giambi for as long as possible.
*Requires shark teeth, Gary Sheffield, hot chicks, and Jason Giambi

As you can see, it takes a lot of work to be Derek Jeter. Next week we will feature Carl Pavano's work out regimen for comparison.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...