Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Cabrera's Corner

In this week's edition of "Columnist Weekly", guest author and outfield expert Melky Cabrera discusses the Yankee outfield situation and the possible changes that could be made for next season.

With the Yankees on there last push of the season....without me....It only serves this great team to discuss the matter of the outfield as it looks going into the off season....without me.

Right now the Yankee outfield has Johnny Damon, Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui and Xavier Nady with Brett Gardner playing back up. Bobby Abreu will be a free agent next season, which leaves a hole in right original position....that the Yankees cannot fill....without me.

Hideki Matsui requires surgery again this off season, which will probably mean he'll need to DH....without me.

Xavier Nady has one more year under arbitration, so he will be playing for a contract next season. Nady could move into right to replace Abreu, only moving into right would mean the Yankees would move on....without me.

Johnny Damon has taken my old spot in center, which is fine since I took it from him. He will also be playing for a new contract next season. Something he will have to do....without me.

Lastly, Brett Gardner, the Yankee back up is fast, and plays good defense, which he could never really do....without me.

I'm in the minor leagues right now. The result of a stinging coup from within the organization to dethrone me in center. They say I wasn't hitting, that I wasn't getting on base, but its hard for the Yankees to do either....without me.

....Without me.

Without me....

Read this Haiku I wrote:

The Yankees outfield
has decided to move on
they lose....without me

Read this short story I wrote:

(Editor's note: For reason's of redundancy, the editor's of "Respect Jeter's Gangster" have decided to end Cabrera's corner here.)

Many thanks to our guest columnist Melky Cabrera for enlightening us on the Yankee outfield situation.


michael kei said...

Shoot. I was getting all tingly inside as I scrolled down to the words "Read this short story I wrote"... Only to have all my dreams of reading a Melky story snatched away.

(P.S. Hilarious stuff)

Fernando Alejandro said...

You know, even though you didn't get to read it, I bet you now its conclusion.

Anonymous said...

Something like "Jeter remains the sweetheart of grannies and 5-yaer-old girls, without me"?