Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Not Much to Talk About

As its been slim pickings for a while now on the baseball news front, we decided it was time to give our good friend Brian Cashman another call via satellite video phone. We submit the following transcript for your approval:

[Phone ringing]

BC: Hello?

RJG: What's up Bronny? How's it hangin'?

BC: It's going well I suppose.

RJG: Sooooooooooooooo, there's not much going on right now it seems. . .

BC: Yeah, yeah. It's kind of slow.

RJG: How are the kids?

BC: Kids are good, everything's good.

RJG: So . . . you signed Mark Teixeira . . . weeks ago . . .

BC: Yep, yep. Did you see the press conference?

RJG: I listened to it online. It was good, he seems happy to be a Yankee.

BC: We feel he's a good fit.

RJG: Working on any trades or anything?

BC: We always have our feelers out there, but nothing's going on. It's kind of slow.

RJG: Yeah. I guess that's what happens when you sign all the free agents that matter before Christmas. Thanks a lot jerk. You know what Bronny, you're a panda jerk, and that's the worst kind of jerk. I call you up, there's absolutely nothing to talk about. You're making me look stupid. This transcript is going to be on the internet! The internet, Bronny! And all you can tell me is your kids are good? I #&%*@! hate you Bronny, I hate you!

BC: That was uncalled for.

RJG: Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just that I've gotta post something on the blog, and there's nothing to write about, it's kind of stressful. Anyway, I don't hate you Bronny, sometimes I just get mad from riding the subway here in the city. You know what that's like.

BC: No, I don't. I have a limo driver.

RJG: Why don't you kiss my @$$!


RJG: I should probably call back and apologize . . .


Roberto E. Alejandro said...

These things happen Quinn. Mine and Bronny's relationship is complicated, and entirely relegated to satellite video phone conversations. sometimes the emotions build up. But that's the way it goes.

Anonymous said...

Things you might consider blogging about:

Tex and AROD: Do they like each other or is Peter Gammons insane
What exactly a panda jerk is
Other people with gangster that need respecting
Why NJ should have a baseball team
Andy P- should we care if he doesn't come back
Joba C - poor mechanics?
Candy in the clubhouse: Yay or nay
Do cigarettes cause cancer
Clubhouse etiquette
MLB Network
Baseball writers who actually know what they are talking about
Baseball writers who do it right: just the facts, please
How to survive until spring training

Anonymous said...

im sorry.. now i feel like the panda jerk.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Anonymous number two, we haven't seen you here in ages. Welcome back!