Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A-Rod Apologizes to Selena Roberts. Selena Roberts Gets No Such Apology From RJG.

It has recently been reported that Alex called Selena Roberts shortly after his interview where he said she stalked him and tried to break into his house, and apologized for making those allegations. However, the RJG is still waiting for an apology from Selena Roberts for trying to break into our RJG headquarters while small children slept upstairs. Not our children mind you, but there's a family unit above our headquarters. We also have police records saying that Roberts not only was seen coming through our back window, but she also ate one of Roberto's sandwiches that he was saving in the fridge, and then took a picture next to an RJG plaque we have on the wall. After that, she laid down on the RJG couch and took a nap, where we found her, before calling the police. After a brief 2 hour wait, the police arrived and asked her to leave, which she did. But then a week later we came in and there she was sleeping on our couch again. This time she finished my last Guinness, and used all the remaining eggs to make herself an omelette. Security camera's showed her taking practice swings with our Derek Jeter bats, before going to sleep. After we had police escort her out again, she started showing up at our gym in the middle of my Pilatte's class. I was like "Get her out of here!" but then I realized that she was probably signed up for the same Pilatte's class since I was the only guy there. Then I remembered that I wasn't signed up for any Pilatte's class and wasn't really sure what I was doing there, and then I realized that I wasn't even at my gym when I saw the giant "Curves" sign out front. It was really embarrasing. So, two times she broke into our headquarters and once I showed up at her gym and tried to get her thrown out. I still feel like she owes us an apology. Selena Roberts, just apologize, and please stop breaking into our place. If you want to hang out in the RJG headquarters, all you have to do is call.


Anonymous said...

I found this and the Joba post a tad confusing. Selena as Goldilocks? Wonder what her Alex book will have to say about Jeter? I did find the comment about Joba hitting Youk in the back of the head as he moved from first to second amusing. Do these two posts mean RJG is on steroids and moving into an alternative universe? In an alternative universe does AROD get into the HOF on the first ballot?

Fernando Alejandro said...

Our hard hitting investigative journalism is all natural.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

A-Rod may yet get into the HOF on the first ballot in this universe. It will definitely depend whether A-Rod continues to date aging starlets or younger ones.

Anonymous said...

Food + sleeping children.
And you didn't expect Selea Roberts to break in?
Come on, guys!


TribeGirl said...

I hate aging starlets (yeah - YOU Madonna) and I hate Selena Roberts!!!!

Rylee's Dad said...

What is wrong with this woman? Why is she so mad at a-rod? Did he turn her down for some boom boom?? I dont get it.... the dude did steriods. We get it. I dont need to know about something that MIGHT have happend 14 years ago. What a twat! I hate her!
Nic OUT!