Thursday, February 12, 2009

Bronny C Gets A Call

A lot has happened over the last few weeks in the life of Brian Cashman. First, it was revealed that he betrayed Joe Torre in 2007. Then, a week later, it was revealed that his favorite free agent signing of all time was a steroid user. Then we found out about A-Rod. With that in mind, it was time to give our good friend Cashman a call. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello.

RJG: What's up playa playa?

BC: I'm pretty busy right now.

RJG: I can see that. So how do you feel about the fact that you've signed so many steroid users? Giambi, Sheffield, Clemens, Pettitte, and now A-Rod. What's your big obsession with cheaters?

BC: In fairness, not all of those guys were my call.

RJG: But you still signed them. Why don't you grow a pair and tell Hank to go F-- himself like Girardi did to Loria back in Florida?

BC: I think you catch more flies with honey.

RJG: Sounds like you catch more cheaters with anonymous steroid testing. So when Jeter refused comment, were you like, 'why does Jeter hate A-Rod so much?' or more like, 'I wish I refused to comment?'

BC: I'm not sure that question makes sense. Jeter didn't refuse comment. He refused to comment twice essentially, stating he wasn't going to answer questions now that he will have to field again in a week. He's gangster like that. He's like Clive Owen in Inside Man. "Listen very carefully to what I have to say, because I'm only going to say it once."

RJG: Your Clive Owen sucks. Is that why you couldn't make it in show business?

BC: I was never in show business.

RJG: But you were on steroids, right?


There you have it folks, B to the C is among the 103 yet to be revealed players who tested positive in 2003.


Anonymous said...

Just started the Torre book. Seems Bronny had Torre urge Jeter to 'help' Al more. So I am guessing Cash is hoping Jeter has a revelation and comes out full-throttle in Al's corner. I think Cashman will be disappointed. According to the book, Jeter has little tolerance for the insanity/inanity of others.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Jeter's response will be watched very carefully, so it will be very interesting to see what he says when he finally does speak to the press about this.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! Funny call.. I think you got a lil too tough with bronny when you told him to grow a pair. I thoght i would of seen [click] right after it bad that my english teacher is useing this situation to teach us? not to stay away from seteroids or anything like that...but to critique the proper grammer used in the daily news.. atleast a-rods getting his wish... teacheing children that the word 'sully' can be used to decribe a ex-steroid user or a guy who can land a plane in the hudson. Thats some sort of literary device.. i forget which=)

I am not really looking forward to jeters next comment. Obviously he's not gonna say something incrimimnateing. He'll do the whole lil dance around about how a-rods his team mate and he supports him but not the steroids, he'll tell people to stay away form the stuff, then proceed to climb up a tree and save a coupel of kitten....

countdown to tampa!!!!!! 14 more days

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly how the Jeter press conference goes.

Raven King said...

Derek Jeter, our incredibly handsome, kind and brave Captain, aka the Crown Prince of Political Correctness, is currently unavailable for comments due to his Koalas Rescuing Mission.

And according to my reliable but unnamed source, Bronny Cash never uses steroids. He's only addicted to Trump Water.

Raven King said...

And when your GM drinks too much Trump Water, your team ends up with two pitchers sharing one number.