Friday, July 9, 2010

Nick Swisher Wants That All-Star Spot

The Good

A big night from Nick Swisher who went 4-4 with 2 doubles, but the even better performance came from Sir Andrew Pettitte, who went 8 innings, striking out 9 in the process and allowing one run. What's even more impressive is that he did it right handed. No one cared to notice.

The Bad

Since when can Jason Vargas pitch? The last memory I have of him was when he got sent to the minors pitching for Florida a few years back. Apparently this season he sold his soul to Cy Young.

The Ugly

Andy Pettitte had one goal in mind last night: to strike out Ichiro Suzuki. Some claim that it can't be done, others claim that Ichiro is a mythological creature straight from the pages of Japanese lore, some even say that he's the one who killed Achilles in Troy, and then turned and killed Paris for no apparent reason. All of these rumors were heavy on Andy's mind as he stared in for the sign. His eyes creeping between his tightly lowered hat and raised glove, glancing quickly over at Ichiro, their eyes locked, tension raised, and mortal enemies were created. Andy was not able to strike out Ichiro last night, and Ichiro in fact had two hits. Andy started working out a deal with Cy Young for his soul, but negotiations fell apart. I don't think its the last we've heard of the Andy/Ichiro saga. Remember, you heard it here first at the RJG.

Have You Given to the Children?

There were no homeruns last night, but it doesn't mean that the children have to suffer. Please consider donating some money to the Children's Health Fund, and get entered into the raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Red Sox and Yankees. Click here for details on the raffle and for where to donate!


lady gaganonymous said...

The Ugly: Obviously, the only way you can score runs off of Andy this year is bunting. Surely this will start to show up in the scouting reports.

Also, did you see that girl's reaction when Ichiro hit her in the face by accident? Ahahaha.

Rob b said...

"Also, did you see that girl's reaction when Ichiro hit her in the face by accident? Ahahaha."

"OMG! Ichiro just touched me! OMG! He asked if I was okay! Squeeeeee! I'm going to text everybody I know!"

Yup, that about sums it up.