Thursday, July 1, 2010

Yanks Drop Series to Mariners

The Good

Those cheasesteaks they sell at Yankee Stadium are still delicious. Or at least they better be when I'm there on Saturday, or they will receive a scathing review from which they will never recover. Oh, and Javy had a bounce back quality wasted effort.

The Bad

Not even Nick Swisher felt like padding his stats last night, as nobody did anything in a losing effort against King Felix. What is he king of? Safeco? That's so lame. Also, the Yanks gave up 7 runs, all on bunts, by which they continue to be utterly confounded.

The Ugly

The Yankees haven't lost a series to the Mariners since 1934, when their depression era players were forced to forfeit due to malnutrition. The Yankees, in two days, have destroyed, no, obliterated, a 76 year legacy. Oh, and the players got together in the clubhouse after the game to burn the flag. Just sayin'.

Homer, Homer the Bee

Does anyone else remember the old Maya the Bee cartoon on Nickelodeon? You do, don't you? And it was your favorite! Just like hitting no home runs was the Yankees' favorite last night. If entering raffles is your favorite, then enter ours, or mad with power Robinson Cano will have the YES Network removed from your cable line-up and replaced with Braves games on TBS.

Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 15hr = $30
Swisher 13hr = $26
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $172


Rich Mahogany said...

You want to talk about mad with power, let's talk about Felix Hernandez. He insists upon being called "King," and anyone who fails to call him that is beaten about the neck and shoulders by goons armed with bamboo rods. This explains why the Mariners can't score runs, everyone is too sore from beatings. He also had Kendry Morales's leg broken after Kendry embarrassed him in that "Pitchers v. Hitters" commercial.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Yeah, but Robinson Cano's nickname is "Don't ya know?" He makes everyone call him that, and if they don't raise their voice at the end, as if to indicate a question, he has them traded to a lesser team, then beaten so that they can't hack it on a lesser team, then he tells everyone the only reason that player used to be decent was because he, Robinson Cano, used to coach him so well.