Did Tiger Woods Get Husband Beaten?

There are a lot of stories going around concerning Tiger Woods's recent car accident and trip to the hospital. Tiger left his house a little after 2 a.m. the morning after Thanksgiving, and had barely gotten out of the driveway when he killed a fire hydrant and then tried to mow down a neighbor's tree in his Escalade (You know Buick is pissed right now). Initial reports indicated that Tiger's wife, whose last name cannot be pronounced and should probably be represented by a symbol, a la The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, used a golf club to smash the rear windshield of his Escalade in order to free him from the vehicle.

When police arrived Woods was sprawled out on the lawn, going in and out of consciousness. The crash was at a relatively low speed, as the airbags didn't even deploy. Other indications that he wasn't going that fast are that he didn't even get past his neighbor's tree, so he couldn't have been going very fast even if he wanted to if that was all the distance he'd managed to travel.

Now it's being reported that his wife was pissed about a series of reports detailing an affair Tiger Woods was having with some woman no one's ever heard of (which, if you're Tiger Woods and going to have an affair, a woman no one's ever heard of sounds about right).

There was once a time when women married to public figures who had affairs used to stand by like idiots supportively while their husbands pretended to be sorry (think Hillary, that New Jersey governor guy whose name I can't be bothered to google, and Elliot Spitzer).

Of course, that all ended when Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina admitted his affair. Jenny Sanford was not at her husband's press conference, then she threw him out of his own house (damn, that's gangster. She lives by herself in the governor's mansion and she's not even the governor).

But it seems Mrs. Woods has taken it to another level. You don't start slipping out of consciousness from a 15 mph car accident, you slip out of consciousness when you're pissed off Swedish wife goes upside your head with a golf club (be glad Woods wasn't a world famous hunter). Not only did Woods get chased out his own house, he may have gotten his ass beat on his own front lawn. And people say the feminist movement is dead.