It was recently reported on the Lohud Yankees blog that the off season has yet to be mapped out for the Yankees. As Cashman is quoted as saying "I’ve had my pro scouting meetings, now I’m talking to ownership about budgets. Obviously we’re working through every level on that. We haven’t game planned yet." We caught up with Cashman to ask him some questions about the lack of a game plan, and this is what he had to say.
"Its not that we haven't tried to come up with a game plan, its that we've been distracted by all the news. How are we supposed to map out the course of the off season when we know it's coming?" Stated Cashman.
When asked what he was referring to, Cashman responded.
"Haven't you been watching the news? Its coming, and it will change everything. Forget the Yankees for now, forget 2010, this is a game changer and the end of everything as we know it."
What was Cashman referring to? What was this game changer he kept referencing?
"Its here." Said Cashman. "The Droid."
"What, like the cell phone?" We asked.
"No, not a cell phone. Its a Droid. And what the Droid can do, no other cell phone can do."
"So you haven't planned the course of the Yankees, because you were waiting for a new phone?"
"Are you listening to me?! Its a Droid! Do you understand what this means!? This is judgement day! Terminators and iRobots dancing on our graves! That creepy Honda robot enslaving humanity. You know that robot lawn mower? Its going to lawn mow your face! The Droid is their leader! The Droid is Skynet! I'm John Connor! Will you join me?!"
Cashman pulled a Derek Jeter model baseball bat he had concealed in his jacket.
"Come with me if you want to live."
We thought Cashman had lost it, but he sounded pretty convincing. So our apologies to the Verizon store in lower Manhatten. We were present while Brian Cashman wrecked your Droid store display.
Is it officially slow news season yet?
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3 comments:
I feel safer knowing that Bronny and his ninja skills will be protecting us for the Droids. I can picture it now, Bronny in his ninja suit leaping through a plate glass window, smashing cell phones with his nunchucks while Material Girl blasts in the back ground.
Slow news day indeed...
I'm kind of hating how slow it is, but we might as well get used to it. The beauty of the hot stove season is more in the speculation than in the actual news.
I suspect it will be slow for a while. Problem is there aren't many big spenders. Yankees are one but most of their moves will likely be with their own guys (Damon, Pettitte, etc.), they're not hitting the rest of the market yet. Boston is another big spender, but the free agent class is so weak, they're in no hurry. This will probably be a stove set on low this year.
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