Thursday, November 5, 2009

It's All About Cash

With the Yankees 27th World Championship under their belt, we thought it time to call good friend of the blog and Yankees GM, Brian Cashman via satellite video phone. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Mr. Cashman speaking.

RJG: Really?

BC: Oh, look who it is. If it isn't Mr. "It's not all about you, Bronny"! We're World Series champs [expletive]! Whoooo!

RJG: Congratulations man. We're all very thrilled.

BC: Whoooo!

RJG: Did you go to sleep last night?

BC: What are you talking about?

RJG: Last night, did you go to sleep at all?

BC: What day is it?

RJG: It's Thursday.

BC: Oh. What time?

RJG: It's about 11 in the mornin' in New York.

BC: Oh. Well, then no. I didn't sleep. In fact, I haven't left the clubhouse. They shut the lights off some time ago so I wasn't really sure what time it was.

RJG: Why are you still there then?

BC: I was busy conducting business.

RJG: Wow. Already planning what to do about Damon and Matsui, huh? I'm impressed, I mean . . .

BC: No. Why the hell would I be doing that? I was conducting other more important and pressing business.

RJG: What were you doing?

BC: First I called Omar Minaya, and told him he's done a great job with the Mets. Then I asked him how come the Phillies are such an easy opponent, laughed, and hung up.

RJG: That seems unne . . .

BC: Then I called up Theo Epstein, and told him what a great job he's done with the Sox. Then I told him his parents must be really proud that he missed the playoffs. Then he was all like, "I'm an orphan, I never knew my parents." And I was like, "I know!" Then I laughed and hung up, but not before I heard him whimper.

RJG: I don't think Theo Epstein's an orph . . .

BC: Then I called Joe Torre and was like, "Hey, remember that book you wrote about how I betrayed you? What's that? I'm sorry. I can't hear you over my 27th World Series trophy. You're fired [expletive]." Then I hung up, but I laughed first and waited for the whimper.

RJG: Torre whimpered?

BC: No, he actually congratulated me and bid me good night. Class guy. Frankly, he kind of ruined it for me.

RJG: Yeah, I could see how that mi . . .

BC: Then I called up Cynthia Rodriguez and said, "Congratulations! You're husband is a World Series champion! Oh wait, you divorced for an undisclosed settlement. Wear that on the back of your shirt when you come to Yankee Stadium!"

RJG: What the [expletive] is wrong with you? Why would you say that to her?

BC: Yeah, it was great. A-Rod's pissed though. Did you know they still communicate?

RJG: They have children together.

BC: News to me. So why don't you say it, huh? Say it.

RJG: Say what?

BC: You know. "It's not all about you, Bronny."

RJG: Well, that seems inappropri . . .


RJG: Yeah, I kno . . .

BC: Oh [expletive]! I think security's coming.

RJG: What?

BC: Gotta go. It's all about me.


There you have it folks. The Yankees are not thinking about the hot stove just yet.


Jon Roberts said...

Woooo(expletive deleted)hoooo!

Did you catch Hank saying "I guess I'm not an idiot after all" when asked about Arod? Way to bring the party down.

Bring Godzilla back! That isn't just about last night either he brings production to the dh that other teams would kill for.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Yeah, Cash is going to have his hands full with that one. I understand the need to keep the DH open for our aging players, but I think this season showed that days off are just as helpful as DH stints if not more so. Hard to let either Matsui or Damon go at this point. Unless you're sure Austin Jackson is ready, if not, I think they should both be back at least one year.

Quinn said...


this is the moment i have been waiting for since the bronny cash phone calls began. but in all seriousness who do you want back damon or matsui? i feel a post coming up about that...

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

There's definitely one coming. If you have to pick one, I think you have to pick Damon. He plays the field, and it leaves the DH open for other of our aging players who could use the break.

That said, Matsui sure can drive in some runs. It would be hard to lose him. Especially since It's not clear who replaces his production in the line-up.

Jon Roberts said...

How many games are the older players actually going to sit? Posada will get a few, but he should get the day off and Matsui is probably better in the dh role. I can't see Jeter or Arod being off the field for many games. Damon being back makes it more difficult, but worst case you still have 100-110 games for a full time dh. Of you see Damon as dh/4 outfielder then it's a different story. I think he can play the field on a regular basis.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with you, Jon. I just don't know what the Yanks will do. Hard to part with either. And Damon is a big part of why that clubhouse works so well, so we have to take that into account too.

Quinn said...

im going tomorrow. im leaving school tonight driving 3 hours to stay at a friends then going from there

SA Yankee fan said...

I'm inclined to think that the yanks can go one more year with a dedicated DH before reverting to the rotating DH plan. Posada has got 1 year max behind the plate left but I think we can get through next year. I think it would be something special for all of the aging players to have the same good injury free years they had this year again next year.

At the end of the day, even if we keep both much salary will be saved. The yankees have something like 40m coming off hte books again this year.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Yeah, but that figure doesn't take into account all the money they pay out in bribes.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Quinn! That's awesome! You'll have to tell us how it all goes.