Wednesday, November 11, 2009

RJG Catches Up with Jimmy Rollins

Prior to the World Series it was widely reported that Jimmy Rollins predicted a Phillies World Series championship in five games, maybe six if they felt charitable, on the Jay Leno Show. The report was hard to confirm because no one watches that show. RJG recently caught up with Jimmy Rollins to discuss the ultimate result of the World Series.

"I really do think we were the better team," explained Rollins. "You see, sometimes the best team doesn't win. Sometimes it's the team with the best record in baseball, or the team that scored the most runs during the season, or the team with the most home runs that wins. It's not always the best team, which was us, the Phillies."

Told that his statement didn't make any sense, Rollins continued his explanation. "You see, the best team sometimes loses. And on paper, we were the best team. We print our roster on quality matte finish photo paper. It's glossy. Check out this roster printed out by Jason Zillo, the Yankees PR Director, it's on below industry standard grade paper. So on paper, we're a better team, but we didn't win."

After it was suggested to him that the phrase 'better team on paper' was a reference to the team's collective statistics, and not the paper itself, Rollins quickly rebuffed our assertion. "That's a lie and you know it. We're the better team. Remember when we won game one and then won game 5, everyone agreed the momentum was in our favor, because we were the best team, on paper and on the field. In Philly, we use Kentucky Blue Grass from Kentucky, but in New York, they use something else, and that was an unfair advantage. We'll have another chance next year, and that time their inferior grass seed won't be able to save them."

We wanted to point out that the Yankees took two of three games in Philly, but decided it was better to just nod and walk away slowly.


Quinn said...

its not all about you jimmy

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Indeed, Quinn.