Saturday, December 13, 2008

With New Signings, Dwindling Hope for Dinosaurs

The Yankees have been busy this off-season, trading for Nick Swisher, signing CC Sabbathia and AJ Burnett, and pursuing Derek Lowe, Andy Pettitte, and a trade for Mike Cameron. As was first reported by RJG, Hank Steinbrenner, head of baseball operations for the Yankees, had hoped to fill the numerous roster holes with dinosaurs. It seems that Cashman has walked Hank, who still cowers in fear of doing an interview with us, from that ledge. With each new signing and trade rumor the hopes of many dinosaur free agents dwindles, as their chances to play for the Yankees become veritably extinct (oh man am I clever).

A pterodactyl who hope to patrol center field was visibly shaken by the Mike Cameron trade rumors. "First that meteor, and now this! I can't believe it. I was so close, and Mike Cameron? Really? I can fly? sure, I have no arms so I can't hit, but I guarantee no home runs, that's worth an automatic out." Scott Boras, the pterodactyl's agent, is considering filing charges against baseball's GMs for collusion. "With everything my client brings to the table it is astonishing that no offers have come forth," said Boras.

It appears that the Yankees have abandoned their dinosaur movement before it ever had a chance to take off the ground. Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy can relate.


Raven King said...

So much for Broony Cash's "built-from-within" myth.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

desperate times call for desperate measures. and apparently one year of missing the playoffs is desperate times here in NYC.

Raven King said...

They didn't trade Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy for Johan "God's Left Arm" Santana.
I hope they succeed in trading Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy for Roy "God's Right Arm" Halladay.