Due to my life long admiration for Jose Canseco's writing, I find myself following up on his latest offering titled "Vindicated: A Big Name Liar Saves Baseball", or something to that effect. Though it has not officially been released Peter Abraham found a link to a website by author Joe Lavin who happened to get his hands on a copy before the release day. Because of my intense curiosity, I decided to read what Lavin had to say. It appears that Canseco names Alex Rodriguez, Magglio Ordonez, and Roger Clemens as steroid pushers. Yes, I said pushers. Apparently, Alex Rodriguez runs a distribution ring up and down the east coast. Clemens served as the muscle while Ordonez transported the goods. Canseco claims that there were wire taps placed on A-Rod's lines but they used such clever slang that the Feds were unable to learn anything concrete. Here's a transcript straight from the book:
A-Rod: "You got the stuff?"
Ordonez: "Yeah, but that skinny guy with glasses gave me some trouble."
A-Rod: "I'll get Clemens on it. How much did you get?"
Ordonez: "100 packs of the B-12, and another 100 packs of the flax seed oil."
A-Rod: "Okay, you did good. Get the hundred packs of steroids, and the hundred packs of HGH to my house quickly."
Ordonez: "You mean B-12 and flax seed, right?"
A-Rod: "Yes, yes I did. Get them here quick. I have a date with Canseco's wife tonight."
According to "Vindicated" the Feds suspected that the line "I have a date with Canseco's wife tonight." really meant, "I'm the leader of a largescale steroid distribution ring." but ditched that idea when they saw A-Rod on a date with Canseco's wife later that night.
Canseco says that he introduced A-Rod to a steroid pusher one time. A few weeks later the guy washed ashore near Tampa Bay with what appeared to be the imprint of a 95 mph baseball on the back of his head. The murder is still unresolved but Canseco beleives A-Rod was taking out the competition. Canseco ends the chapter by telling A-Rod that he hates his guts, and then asks for 20 injections of the B-12 to be shipped to him. A-Rod of course denies the allegation. When asked about Canseco's book A-Rod said "Personal accolades are nice, but I really just want to win a championship in New York and retire a Yankee."
Yankee captain and well-known gangster, Derek Jeter had his own thoughts: "I don't care about an MVP. I just want to win a championship. Um, can you repeat the question?"
Perhaps the most telling portion of "Vindicated" according to Joe Lavin is that Canseco names Mike Wallace as a potential PED user. That would certainly explain the homeruns.
So there you have it. A-Rod distributes steroids, and wants to win a championship. Thank you Canseco. Thank you for blessing us with yet another quality book. The Nobel Peace Prize in literature is just a nomination away.