Saturday, March 22, 2008

List of Things Worse Than Spring Training

A lot of people have been complaining about how terrible Spring Training is. Not us though, we understand that there are much worse things. Here's a list:

1. Having a team without Derek Jeter.

2. Being a Mets fan.

3. Terminal diseases.

4. Not saving up to 15% by switching to Geico.

5. Having your retirement portfolio heavily invested in Bear Stearns.

6. Being married to Jose Canseco.

7. Being Carl Pavano.

8. Being Carl Pavano's arm.

9. Melky Cabrera's job security.

10. Brian McNamee's sports medicine degree.

11. Having an argument via text messages.

12. Marrying Elliot Spitzer.

13. Thinking football is America's sport.

14. Looking to the NFL for positive role models.

15. Brian Cashman's job security.

16. Taking the right subway line in the wrong direction.

17. Asking a resident of the city of Boston for directions.

18. Assuming a resident of Boston to be sober.

19. Reading at a Boston-grade reading level.

20. Playing second as Shelley Duncan rounds first.

21. Being a hardcore Kansas City fan in a Bloods neighborhood.

22. Being a hardcore Kansas City fan.

23. Being the drummer who got dropped from The Beatles.

24. Meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.

25. Being the president of the Carl Pavano Fan Club.

So stop complaining about the utter pointlessness of Spring Training. Any one of these tragedies could befall you instead.


Bucky7588 said...

i've rarely met a sober bostonian, its the irish in them...

Anonymous said...

you mentioned pavano and his arm but how about being the team that gave him 40 mil to be a dbag.. thats pretty shitty as well.

anonymous number two said...

Isn't it ironic?

Roberto Alejandro said...

good point Gould, but it's not nice to point out other people's shortcomings, unless it's Carl Pavano.

Anonymous said...

poor melk

DynastyNYY said...

Hey! Melky's a rock star. He'll hit a solid .290/.350/.490 and prove everyone wrong this year. ;)

I decree it to be so. Mostly because I'm extremely biased.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Melky's going after Barry Bonds single season homerun record. I suspect he'll fall about 60 homeruns short.

Anonymous said...

melky owns.