Dalai Lama Sabotaging the Olympics

According to this article at ESPN.com, Chinese officials have accused the Dalai Lama of attempting to sabotage this year's Summer Olympics, to be held in Beijing.

Apparently his holiness has polluted the Chinese air in an effort to create unhealthy breathing conditions for the athletes. He's also forced residents to buy cars, increasing traffic concerns. The Dalai Lama has also interfered with China's attempt to increase basic English proficiency by living in exile from his homeland of Tibet. He has also gone on to place lead in paint, poison in tooth paste, and cardboard in any number of exported Chinese food products. Clearly, we are dealing with a lunatic at the height of his power.