Monday, October 27, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Steinbrenner Won't Do An Interview With Us

Its been about 3 weeks since we offered Hank Steinbrenner the opportunity to do an interview with us, and since then he has done nothing but dodge the invitation. Not one email, not one phone call, not one facebook wall post, he didn't even IM us when he saw we were on. Hank is typically pretty good at talking to the media so why won't he talk to us? Well, here are the top ten reasons Hank Steinbrenner probably hasn't responded to our request for an interview.

10. He suspects that we'll link him to Socialism, which we will.
9. Hank Steinbrenner doesn't like the hard questions, and that's all we ever ask. Hank is used to answering questions about his favorite pony and stuff like that. We ask questions like "Where were you the night Cashman signed Pudge, and there was a communist meeting a block from your home in Tampa?"
8. Hank fears what he doesn't know, and he doesn't know gangster.
7. Hank's inner circle which consists of Hank Steinbrenner, advised him not to do it.
6. Hank is afraid of our business pitch. The pitch would include him funding the RJG blog by paying a six figure salary to each of its authors, and to give them a luxury suite at the new stadium. What does Hank get out of it? A free pass from future interviews, which he clearly fears.
5. Hank doesn't like to hear that he is wrong, which is precisely what we'll tell him when we bring up the fact that the centerfield restaurant at the new stadium partially blocks the view for all fans sitting near it.
4. He's sick of talking about dinosaurs.
3. He's unsure of how he'll answer the question about what he respects most about Jeter's gangster, and why the RJG is his favorite blog.
2. He fears it will ruin his future political aspirations.
1. Maybe, just maybe, there's a miniscule outside chance that he hasn't seen our request yet.

So probably some combination of these reasons are in play here, but we won't know until we sit him down and ask him. Hank, if you're reading this, its time to man up.


Bucky7588 said...

George would have done an interview with you guys, but thats because he's ten times the man Hank is...

Roberto Alejandro said...

I'm inclined to agree with you Bucky. The apple has fallen quite far from the tree, rolled down a hill into a stream, and was carried out to sea and later deposited on a foreign shore.

raven said...

Don't be so harsh to Hank.
The poor boy is so busy worshipping Gov. Palin that he doesn't even have enough time to breathe.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Ha! You might be right about that one.