Thursday, January 17, 2008

Random Lists to Keep You Warm at Night

Ten Jeter Facts You Didn't Know:

1. Derek Jeter could hit as many home runs as David Ortiz, but instead waists his energy playing a real position.
2. Derek Jeter prefers his martini's supermodels.
3. Derek Jeter can recite the entire Constitution from memory.
4. Despite his decreased range, Jeter is still miles ahead of Julio Lugo.
5. Derek Jeter pitches for the Hanshin Tigers on the side.
6. Derek Jeter wrote the screen play for Saving Private Ryan.
7. Derek Jeter performed Carl Pavano's Tommy John surgery.
8. Chuck Noris respects Jeter's gangster.
9. Derek Jeter never fakes the funk on a nasty dunk.
10. JD Drew's wife keeps a picture of Derek Jeter on her at all times. Oddly enough, so does JD Drew.

10 Possible Reasons for why Bobby Abreu Won't Dive for a Ball, or Run into a padded fence to get an Out:

1. He used to catch spankings for getting grass stains on his shirt.
2. His childhood baseball field was lined with an electric fence.
3. His childhood field had no fence, and is now intimidated by their presence.
4. There were snakes on the field he played in.
5. There were rocks and rock scorpions on the field he played in.
6. One time he ran right through a fence while following a fly ball not realizing it was the fence to the local prison. He inadvertantly sprung 200 convicts into his community.
7. He's been taking advice from Carl Pavano.
8. Bobby once made a beautiful diving catch but didn't see that his pet rabbit had wandered onto the field to play with him. The catch was beautiful, but the rabbit never saw him coming. He vouched to never dive again.
9. Bobby once hopped a fence only to see his neighbor sun bathing in the nude. He was so traumatized he never went near a fence again.
10. He dives when he wants to. Respect his gangster.

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