A-Rod met with members of the Yankee press corp in Tampa yesterday, and stated that, having had time to think in Colorado, he had decided to make baseball and the Yankees his number one priority. While not the only ones in the media to find this statement curious, RJG was the only media source able to acquire A-Rod's previous list of priorities. Advantages of not being beholden to liberal corporate controlled right wing interests. The following has not been edited for content, but has been formatted to fit this screen:
My Priorities, by Alex "Derek Jeter" Rodriguez
1. Making Jeter and I best friends again.
2. That stripper I met last week.
3. Vicarious pharmaceutical visits through my cousin.
4. Making out (with self if necessary).
5. Praising other major league shortstops in a way that does not imply that I want Jeter off the team (wink wink).
6. Tanning (in Central Park if necessary).
7. Censoring the curse words in her shirts now that me and Cynthia are back together.
8. Learning my kids names before the next photo-op.