Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Yankees Press Release with Regards to Bleacher Seats




Source

In response to Ken Belson's article (see previous post) in the New York Times today, the Yankees have made the following release exclusively to RJG:

Today's New York Times Sports section included an article pointing out the architectural shortcomings of the new Yankee Stadium. To this we have the following organizational response: That's bull$#!% man! Not cool dudes! We don't announce on our billboards what pages of the New York Times have typos! Besides, it's just left field. You know how people say, "That came out of left field"? It's never in reference to anything good. We're just protecting our beloved fans from all the ills that happen in left field. Why did we also block the view of right field you ask? All right smart @$$, you want to poke holes in our excuse? The reason we blocked the view of right field as well is because, uh, people in left field are lesser human beings and don't deserve to see the whole game. Besides, we're installing TVs. Didn't you ever think to yourself, "Gee, it'd be great if I could have all the pleasures of watching a game in a Best Buy, in a far less comfortable setting." Sure, the glare during the day will make it absolutely pointless, but you're only paying $5, and we'll let you walk the same halls as our tier seat fans. You know, the ones who are actually a revenue stream for us and you tell to "jump" when they walk by? We let you interact with them now. So please, give us a break. Just because we put a very expensive restaurant in the middle of the cheapest seats in the Stadium doesn't mean we think less of those fans who can't afford our more expensive seats. It just means we don't think you're viewing the whole field is more important than our ability to sell expensive steaks to people with more money than you. Thank you. You're beloved New York Yankees who love you back, but not for $5-$12 a seat.

7 comments:

Ruthie said...

lmao!!! okay rjg boys.. watch out.. the times just might put selena roberts on their payrol and cause more destruction aroud the yankee name =).thats if you can get her to stay out of headquarters and off of the damn couch!!... great post!

Ruthie said...

on second thought...leave her there..lol (must proff read before submiting comment)

Fernando Alejandro said...

Its all good. Selena Roberts is unofficially interning for us. She spends all her time here anyway, and we already don't pay her, so it only made sense to create a position for her.

cheshirecat9 said...

This post is funny because it is true.

Roberto Alejandro said...

thanks Ches.

Raven King said...

You didn't know the Yankees hired an architect graduated from that swedish med school?

Roberto Alejandro said...

Yes! I think most of A-Rod's advisers went there as well.