Monday, August 11, 2008

Ponson Deals, Offense Phones It In, But It's Not Their Fault

So Ponson pitched another good game only to have the offense do nothing. This team is so listless right now that it doesn't seem that they have any shot at October. The worst part is, with the injuries to Kennedy and Hughes and them subsequently getting very limited MLB experience, this year will have been a complete waste. Oh well, I suppose I've been spoiled by 12 consecutive Octobers.

So what is wrong with our beloved Yankees? Is it a new manager who is not totally sure how to motivate his team? Too many injuries to guys named Wang, Posada, Hughes, etc.? Not enough offense? Not enough pitching?

No. It's not any of these things. Clearly, every other team in baseball is on the juice again except for the Yankees. Bud Selig, desperately wanting his Brewers to succeed, has allowed, no, ordered every team in baseball to get back on the juice in order to dethrone the Yankees. Every Yankee player gets tested twice a day for PEDs, while none of the other teams get tested at all since all the testers are busy with the Yankees. The tell-tale sign that this is true is that the Yankees are suddenly incapable of beating anyone. That can only mean everyone else is cheating and that Bud Selig has given his explicit support.

Alternatively, it could be that the Red Sox claimed to have cloned a dinosaur and threatened to release it in New Yankee Stadium on opening day if the Yanks didn't stop chasing them for the wild card. That too is a possible cause of the Yanks erratic play.


Anonymous said...

What is wrong with our beloved Yankees?
Lack of Larry Bowa.
Without Bowa shouting at them, they can't stop swinging at balls way out of strike zone.
BTW, Red Sox already has a dinosaur. A Velociraptor named Dustin Pedroia. The fast-running, two-legged, turkey-sized Velociraptor is smaller than other dromaeosaurids, but he can hit and play good defence.

Anonymous said...

Another problem with this team is the hitters are addicted to stabbing their pitchers in the back.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

the hitters stabbing their pitchers in the back has been a problem for a few years now. Hopefully they don't blow tonight's game for Mussina. I'm still holding out hope that he'll get his 20 this year.