Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Yankees Suck

The Good

Sucks is easy to say.

The Bad

The Yankees wearing out their bullpen as of late.

The Ugly

The Yankees starting pitching as of late.

Okay, so this is not the actual game summary. But it could be. The Yanks are pretty bad right now. Just when I thought I was going to have to write a post eating my words from an earlier post where I said that the Yankees may not be much more than a mediocre team, the Yankees played the Orioles. Since then they have been craptacular. This team just can't seem to find a way to perform on all cylinders. When it's not the offense it's the pitching. When it's not the pitching it's the offense. Hopefully Pavano can come back and save us soon.


raven said...

Loyal yet furious fans, we should give Big Sexy his due credit for that grand slam.
I'm gonna write some loving, encouraging letters to our beloved Captain Mr. DP Jeter and Mr. Madonna, and ask them nicely to stop hitting into %^&*&*#@@** double play.

raven said...

In Memorial of the 'Stache

Steve said...

Two ways to look at this, one, stick a fork in them, they're done or......our boy Carl comes back, looking for a contract for the next four years, wins eight games down the strech, star of the playoffs, wins games 1 and 5 of the world Serie, then on two days rest, throws a complete game 2 hit shut out in game seven to become the hero of New York.

Fernando Alejandro said...

I agree Raven the double plays killed every rally they tried to mount. Not great work by A-Rod and the Captain.

Steve, the story doesn't end there. After becoming the hero of New York, Carl picks up a glue sniffing habit he simply can't kick. He takes all the money from his new 4 year contract and uses it to buy out Elmer's. He later dissapears in an Elmer's factory explosion that he caused after hallucinating an army of Mike Mussina's invading his factory. Strapped with his Scarface style machine gun, he has a final stand against the Moose and ends up blowing up his own factory. But he doesn't die. Instead, he flies to an undiscovered island to hire little people to work in his new factory where he develops the greatest glue in the world. He never leaves his factory, and no one ever knows its him. That is until of course he offers golden tickets to give tours of the factory, and the world goes wild. Only 5 tickets are available and who should win a ticket but Mike Mussina. Excited for his tour of the factory Mussina walks in to see his arch nemesis scared from the previous explosion. It is at that moment that they put everything behind them and become best of friends. Moose begins working as Elmer's vice president, and Carl Pavano as the head owner. They drink lemonade every lunch break together. The end.

bigjf said...

Like an Alzheimers patient, I'm once again starting to think that Pavano could become the key to this season. The difference this time is he'll be coming back pitching for a contract. So if there's anything left in him from 2003 that remembers how to pitch, the time is now. And if it pans out, all will be forgiven, though not forgotten. In return, we'll let you keep the $40 million, we'll let you go ruin some other franchise with a loaded contract, and we won't haunt you wherever you go. The power of the bruised buttocks beseeches you!

Steve said...

Freddy Patak as a umpa lumpa
(Great baseball quotes. Writer: "How's it feel to be the shortest player in the major leagues?"
Patak: "Better than being the shortest player in the minors.")