Friday, August 8, 2008

Giles Blocks Trade to Boston

It would appear Padres Outfielder Brian Giles has blocked the trade to go to the Red Sox. Although Giles has not publically given his reasons for this decision, our "Respect Jeter's Gangster" reporting team managed to get this exclusive interview with the outfielder:

"Several reasons come to mind immediately." Began Giles. "First, they're all the way on the east coast, which is far from my home here in California. Second, I don't want to be on a Manny-less Red Sox ball club. Third, my hero Derek Jeter doesn't play there. Fourth, I don't want to wear communist colors everyday. Fifth, I'm not down with clubbing baby seals. Sixth, I'm also not down with eating children or creating oil spills. Seventh, Youkillis' face is not something I want to see every day. Eighth, Papelbon is a douche. Ninth, I'm not fond of clam chowder, cream pies, or alcoholism. And tenth, I wanted to see Epstein whine."

We at the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog thank Giles for his forthright and honest answers.

7 comments:

raven said...

Maybe he just doesn't want to be on the same team with Dustin Pedroia.

Fred Trigger said...

I disagree wholeheartedly with everything but #8.

raven said...

Man, you must be out of your mind to disagree with the Seventh.

Fred Trigger said...

yeah, true that. I stand corrected.

raven said...

BTW, IPK really needs to learn to speak to the media like Dandy Andy.

Roberto Alejandro said...

yeah, IPK did not help his cause yesterday.

Marisol said...

Several hits have been put out on IPK.