It would appear Padres Outfielder Brian Giles has blocked the trade to go to the Red Sox. Although Giles has not publically given his reasons for this decision, our "Respect Jeter's Gangster" reporting team managed to get this exclusive interview with the outfielder:
"Several reasons come to mind immediately." Began Giles. "First, they're all the way on the east coast, which is far from my home here in California. Second, I don't want to be on a Manny-less Red Sox ball club. Third, my hero Derek Jeter doesn't play there. Fourth, I don't want to wear communist colors everyday. Fifth, I'm not down with clubbing baby seals. Sixth, I'm also not down with eating children or creating oil spills. Seventh, Youkillis' face is not something I want to see every day. Eighth, Papelbon is a douche. Ninth, I'm not fond of clam chowder, cream pies, or alcoholism. And tenth, I wanted to see Epstein whine."
We at the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog thank Giles for his forthright and honest answers.